stories to make you smile

GOOD STORIES RECEIVED BY EMAIL TO MAKE YOU SMILE

A CHOICE OF HYMNS

One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in the offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

MONEY IN THE GRAVE

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket." She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

TOP TEN REASONS FOR JOINING THE CHOIR

10. You are running out of neat clothes and the choir robes help save on the laundry bill.
9. You've just been selected for jury duty and want to get used to sitting with a group of people.
8. Your church is so full you want to ensure that you never have to worry about not having a seat.
7. The collection plate is not always passed to the choir. The usher may forget your offering.
6. The clock on the back wall is easier to see from the choir lolf...you can know when it is 12:00.
5. The preacher is new and you want to be close to hear what he says.
4. For years you've wanted to know who sits in the back pews but were afraid to turn around.
3. You've been known to nod off during the service and don't want the preacher to catch you.
2. The choir loft has the most comfortable chairs in the sanctuary.
1. Finally, you can see whose kids are causing a ruckus.

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